Rating System

“It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first” (Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice Ch. 18)


This rating system has been devised to help guide you in choosing intellectual porn novels worth reading. We will be using this system in our reviews, reading lists, etc.

teacupThe Teacup ratings are based on our enjoyment and the quality of the novel, it is not based on the amount of sexually explicit content.

  • 5 Teacups – It’s bewitched me body and soul.
  • 4 Teacups – I’m excessively diverted.
  • 3 Teacups – Handsome.
  • 2 Teacups – Not to be trifled with.
  • 1 Teacup – My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.

The Handcuff ratings are based on the amount of sexually explicit content the novel may contain, this is intellectual porn after all! Unlike the Teacup rating this has nothing to do with our enjoyment or the quality of the novel.

  • handcuff5 Handcuffs – It satisfies man’s carnal wants and lusts.
    note: any novels with sexual violence are automatically given this rating
  • 4 Handcuffs – Fetch my smelling salts.
  • 3 Handcuffs – Free from restraint.
  • 2 Handcuffs – Not properly attired.
  • 1 Handcuff – Mary would approve.
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